Long Distance

How to handle long distance arguments.

 It’s going to happen eventually if you haven’t had an argument already.  Having an
argument long distance is not easy.  There are certain things
you should and should not do in an argument.

- Don’t hang up the phone.  As tempting as it might
be, this is the worst thing you could possibly do.  It is
disrespectful and in my opinion no one deserves it.
Try to stick it out.  Make a promise to each other that
you will not hang up the phone.
- Don’t interrupt.  Take turns explaining your points, and hear the other person
- Actually listen to what they are saying and don’t think about why they are
wrong or prepare how you are going to argue what they are saying, just listen.
Don’t dismiss their points even if you think they are downright wrong.  Show
them some respect, if you want respect in return.
- Tell them how you feel not what they did.  Say how they made you feel.  For
example, “I feel like I’m low priority in your busy life.”  Instead of, “You make
hanging out with me a lower priority than hanging out with your friends.”  The
difference?  Using the second sentence is going to make them feel defensive and
they are only going to argue with you.  Telling them how it makes you feel will be
a lot more effective.
- Try to find a compromise.  Agree on something you’re both comfortable with
even if it means not getting exactly what either of you want.  It’s better than not
getting what you want at all.
- Don’t use the cold shoulder technique.  This is just as bad as hanging up.
Giving someone the cold shoulder (aka. not speaking to them) is only going to
make things worse.  You’re not going to get any happier, and they aren’t either.
And it’s not going to make them come crawling to you for forgiveness and give
you what you want (the usual motive, whether the person doing the ignoring will
admit to that or not).  Just don’t do it.
- Don’t put off conflict.  Handle the issue ASAP.  Get it over and done with.  The
longer it lingers, the longer it will be affecting your relationship in a negative way.
- Don’t create an argument.  Sometimes people will get frustrated with the
distance and make a big deal about something small that probably wouldn’t
usually bother them.  Avoid creating an argument in the first place and you’ll This e-book may only be distributed freely and only in its unmodified entirety.
save yourself a lot trouble.  If you are frustrated with the distance, talk about it
with your boyfriend/girlfriend.  Venting about what you’re really upset with is
better than getting into a heated argument about something unrelated.
- Avoid having an argument online.  If you start to argue, it is better to talk it
out, instead of instant messaging.  The last thing you need is to be
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